Suckerpunch is dorky

Zack Snyder is a dork. This whole movie is so up its own ass and it doesn't make sense at all.

The main character accidentally shot her sister while trying to shoot the guy who killed her mom. Naturally, she gets a lobotomy, mainly because it's like the 60s or some shit, which is going to be important later.

Then as she's waiting for a lobotomy she starts this fantasy in her head where she's actually in a strip dance show thing, owned by Oscar Issac. So we follow her auditioning and training as a dancer with all these broads BUT…

The movie doesn't really have any dancing, all of those dance scenes in the main character’s fantasy instead go another layer of fantasy deep. Now she fights fuckin’ robot samurais.

Mind you, the movie uses a LOT of songs, it's just Zack Snyder's playlist, but those songs didn't even exist yet. They play some weird version of ‘We Will Rock You’ by Queen which, again, DIDN’T exist during the time bitches were just getting willy nilly lobotomies.

(Note: Women are not bitches and shouldn't be referred to as such.)

Jumping around to the ending, it finally goes back to reality, where Jon Hamm notices right after lobotomizing the main broad, that she looked at him funny.

It's also then showing the characters we know but who they are in reality and what certain things were real. But it leaves so many questions for lame fight scenes and stupid dialogue and poor direction and sound track choices and you just have a really good time.

Suckerpunch is a 4/10.

-Bryan