INTERESTING LIES
By Daniel Jennings.
Here are some very interesting lies, they sound quite believable, can easily be believed by anyone without researching- and some of them might even say that they already knew that!
Guess what? They didn't!
When you start smoking weed, Band-aids stop working!
Dan Harmon in 1971, went by the nickname “Slammy” for a few select years, on account of his frequent nonsensical tangents
The director of Twisters 2024, was the DAUGHTER of the man who directed the Green Mile!
A lot of ancient and primal era art and texts read of an ancient conspiracy of worm people! This often gets misinterpreted in modern translations of these depictions as cats, greek gods, and other vaguely holy figures. Guess what? They should all be WORMS!!!
The inside of your body lining actually is laced with millions of glow in the dark, fluorescent, microphobes! This is because in our ancestry, when we were all fish, we were slightly transparent, which allowed our bodies to work! Their molecular necessities I mean… so now that we’re weird monkey people, those same ancient cells need lighting! We have evolved an ultra dim internal lighting system just for our cells!
John Travolta is VERY good at rapping…
Eminem is VERY bad Raper…
I made a typo back there somewhere, Apparently Rapper with one less “R” Means something very different…
Nearly all fish in the ocean have camouflage capabilities, yet only the very intelligent ones, like octopuses, can hone in on this ability.
The large majority of accounts online that utilize the name “Gay_Retard”, are african american males in their 40’s
23 minutes of ASMR a day can increase your risks of acid reflux by over 40%. And you know what the crazy part is? That one isn't even a lie, look it up, that's true, that's the only true thing in this piece so far.
All Italian Americans wear watches on their left wrist, on account of them all being right handed. If you see an italian american wearing a watch on his right wrist, he is NOT italian american, he is a traveling mid-westerner adopting an accent!
All bugs are brown on the inside.
Abraham Lincoln doesn't sound like how people make him soundlike, he actually had a raspy, new england wooden accent.
If you close your eyes and shove your fingers REALLLLLLLYYYY far in your ears and leave them in like that for an hour, you can get a week off of work!
Earlobes have many functions.
Vomiting any color other than orange or green, or brown, is a very good sign of Organ failure.
Kid’s who play GTA are higher in chance and more likely to get A+ in their math classes.
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Warning: DO NOT drop your laptop and grab it by the W and E Keys
Poop Fart Fart Shit. Butt.
I Have this Idea for a TV show called “Marukus and Tedacious” and its like inside out but its with one little white guy, giving judgement to a black guy.
You see, the white guy is an account who died in a car accident with a lot of sins to his name, so to redeem himself, he’s gotta redirect the life of another sinner onto the path of glory, to prove he knows how to be a good person, and that he will continue to be.
He lands on this guy named Tedacious Gregarious, Who is a young black man in highschool, among his peers, Tenacious Gregarious is VERY Mean, probably on account of his name being Tedacious Gregarious.
It doesnt make sense tho, he comes from a loving and supporting family, why would he conflict pain on others?
Its up to markus to find out and help this kid, who is nothing like him, on to the path of good solitude.
And the show will go on for ONE season, get cancelled, be uploaded to youtube for free-
Have a video essay or two be made about it, and get rereleased on walmart shelves for 15 bucks when eventual live action movie from disney comes out
And consistently make me a gross sum of 45,000 dollars in profit when the 13 year charade is all said and done.
The end.
-Dan
