Meta and their gay… GAY… little headset…
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The meta quest line of headsets are GAY. Not gay good! Like in old movies where people are happy! Like a bad gay! Like a guy who likes to suck dick!
In all sincerity however comma, the product I bought around about a year ago- couldn't be ANY more different than the product I use today…
A shell of it’s former self… Hey! Thats a great article title! That oughta be the title of this article in-fact!
The meta quest 3s is such a failure of a device- i’d say its impossible to know where to start, but if you put it on for yourself, I think you’d agree all too well.
The weight of the meta quest is just dumb, the fact the the battery is on the inside of the headset and not the back is silly and GAY!!! Duct taping a bike helmet to the front of your face with all the pressure on your forehead and cheekbones would give you a similar experience to the comfort of this thing.
Fresnel lenses can just go ahead and be outlawed, I'm fine with that, they make my head hurt, the whole thing is a rainbowy, blurry mess, and they only look good when you have this headset on JUSSSSTTTT right. Getting a JUSSSST right fit on this device is as hard as it's worth complaining about, and I complain about it a lot.
There's no more frustration than taking 3 minutes to securely strap surveillance goggles on your head, just to have it slowly slide off your fat and greasy face for the next 40 minutes.
Just slow enough, mind you, to not know that it's actually the headset's fault that everything looks so blurry and sweaty, and you're staring pupil down a perfect sweaty imprint of your eyebrows…
ANYWAYS…
I wish my complaints ended with comfort, but it just comes down to meta changing the game beneath your feet and behind your back- sucks that meta must have a foot AND a back fetish! Because why else would they be changing shit all the time!
It started out humble and small like “no we won't let you read data from connected USB sticks easily, we want it to be hard as fuck to get movies and games onto your headset” fair enough, meta sucks, let be in a way that only pisses me off at least.
AND THEN META CONNECT 2026 ROLLS AROUND AND META DECIDED THAT BEING A CRUMMY COMPANY WAS TOO GOOD FOR THEM.
They did a cute little thing I thought was neat, overhauled the default world and made it look like a cliff side house viewing the meta connect event, neat little visual, cool.
And now it's almost an entire year later and guess what they decided to do? MAKE THIS THE ONLY USEABLE HOME WORLD!!! It's pitch effin dark at night and I'm watching a movie, chill as hell in my bed… Whoops! I double tapped the side of my headset… SEARING WHITE LIGHT, AND HEAVENLY ELECTRONIC TONES TRYING TO GET ME IN THE MOOD TO INDULGE IN META HORIZON WORLDS!! which doesn't even exist anymore!!! Why would you do this meta! Every single aspect of customizability has now been bound to our lame little 3d avatars for your stupid app rip off of roblox obby…
My meta quest home used to be Moe's tavern from The Simpsons… and now it's an ad… for the thing I already bought…
Fuck you Meta…
-Dan
