Dan’s Sheep Detective Review
INT. The Movie Theater - Evening
DAN had just gotten off of work… 6 o’ clock. With the next showing of Mortal Kombat 2 at 8:30pm, and The Sheep Detectives filling in that 2 hour gap perfectly, our hero popped a 20mg edible and a glass full of sprite, and dashed into the theater…
DAN
The lights dim as no name studio logos flicker in front of me.
Im in a packed room of children and adults alike, staring in wait of what may happen next…
The picture opens up to wide green and open fields, Hugh Jackman tends to his sheep and narrates, the movie does not attempt to be coy with its premise- it KNOWS why im here. I Wanna watch CGI sheep solve a murder, and more importantly… I wanna SOLVE this little murder before the sheep do. “I’m a grown man with his… with- w- with his w-wits about him!” I sheepishly thought, as my 20mg gummy began to sprinkle its magic in my blood stream.
Pictured, The Sheep Detectives 2026, property of Amazon
The movie, however, began to do something that shocked me- Well… not exactly shocked me, but did something that I did not expect, which on gummies, feels like a shocking revelation. A fellow farmer had swung by Hugh Jackman’s house to discuss business. The sheep stared in awe and wonder… “What do you think he’s doing here?” said one sheep… “Maybe we’re gonna be merging herds soon!” cried another. Hugh Jackman, However shooed him off in hurry and a huff of anger, to the dismay of the sheep. This is where the movie did something very interesting… “This is too much of a burden to bare! Too much stress!” said one sheep. “Alrighty everyone! On 3 we choose to forget! 1… 2… 3!”.... And just like that? The sheep forgot. “This would lead to an interesting and shocking story telling device later-” I thought to myself, typing on my computer.
“Hey!” whispered a woman next to me. “Can you stop typing on your fucking laptop in the middle of the movie?”. “Sorry!” I bashfully whispered back… “You’re still typing! Are you typing what's happening exactly right now?” She cried- “No! No! I'm not! I'm putting it away, see?”
I quickly shoved the laptop back into my bookbag.”No you didn't!" the lady continued "You've only typed about how you stopped typing on your laptop! You haven't actually stopped that incessant typing!
DAN
I was kicked out of the theater that day…
My own domicile… my home..
END
Anyways yeah it was a pretty good movie.
